Some Alien Ways to Enjoy Alcohol

Alcohol is imbibed, often over-indulged in, and equally appreciated around the globe. From a glass of wine with dinner or a pint of self-brewed ale over lunch to the cornucopia of martinis, margaritas, shots, and suds downed during hazy nights on the town, the list of ways in which we enjoy our alcohol is endless.

That said, pushing the boundaries of brewing and imagining new ways to mix and ingest liquor and the likes is a pastime humanity has proudly embraced.

Here are a few outside-the-box mixes and over-the-top methods for getting your buzz on:

Alien Brain Hemorrhage: This colorful concoction is better seen than ingested, as each ingredient adds a new element to the show, and the curdling affect combined with the red grenadine makes for an alien-looking shot indeed.

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• Fill ½ shot glass with peach schnapps
• Add 2 tsp Bailey’s Irish Cream
• Top off with a few drops of grenadine
• Enjoy

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Cement Mixer: This shot is essentially the human counterpart to the Alien Brain Hemorrhage. Remove the grenadine and schnapps and add lemon or lime juice.

Tapeworm: While the two above shots may feel a little strange going down, I imagine this shot is nothing but sadness from the moment it touches your lips.

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• One part vodka
• One part Tabasco sauce
• Sprinkle with pepper
• Top off with dollop of mayonnaise
• Start crying

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Smoker’s Cough: Keep the mayonnaise, but switch everything else out for some Jagermeister. Continue sadness.

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• 1 ½ oz of Jagermeister
• Add dollop of mayonnaise
• Sob while wishing you’d mixed a Tapeworm instead

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Liquid Steak: The man’s man inside of you will force your brain into thinking you’re drinking steak while sensible human being you once were will wonder why you’re drinking rum with Worcestershire sauce.

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• One part rum of choice
• One part Worcestershire sauce
• Mustache comb for instant mustache you’ll grow afterward

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Prairie Oyster: To anyone to ever mutter “This drink’s good, but what it really needs is a raw egg” …let’s be serious, no one’s ever said those words.

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• One part bourbon
• Crack egg into glass
• Add Tabasco for flavor (some add pepper, salt, and Worcestershire sauce – any hot sauce will do)
• Prep griddle for bacon

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Black Death: In Soviet Russia alcohol drinks you. But seriously, why would anyone mix soy sauce with vodka?

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• 1 – 1 ½ shots of vodka
• ½ oz of soy sauce
• Shake/mix
• Pour over ice
• Enjoy?

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Seven Seas: Pirates are awesome, right? I knew a pirate once. Pete. Crackers. Polly. Zzzzzzz.

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• Walk into a bar
• Ask for a Seven Seas
• Watch bartender mix the first seven bottles they can grab
• Start mumbling

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Bone Luge: This one’s picking up speed around the country and has been said to be quite enjoyable. Some people say that about monkey brains and chocolate-covered grass hoppers as well, so…

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• Order roasted beef marrow bone in an upscale restaurant
• Take out marrow and put on toast
• Take your top shelf liquor (something to sip and savor under 80 proof) and pour down bone luge into mouth
• Shares notes regarding richness and flavor with any hipster within earshot

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Vaportini: Who knew you could vaporize alcohol.

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• Order your Vaportini Complete Kit
• Follow instructions and vaporize your high proof liquor of choice
• Realize you’re vaporizing alcohol and question your priorities

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